Anxiety, Fear, Self-Doubt, The Things That Can Ruin Your Life

We’re all prone to self-doubt.

I speak from experience.

I’ve doubted myself on many occasions in fear of failure, embarrassment, ridicule…

But within the last two years, I’ve been able to change how I view myself and how I view the world.

Here’s an example — I don’t really like to talk about it, but it serves as a great example of how I managed to alter my way of thinking.

I was engaged with a wonderful person, but had a catastrophic falling out, which led me to cancel the wedding.

For a while in the relationship, I feared losing her, and so we tried to make it work.

But when cracks form in the foundation, it’s really difficult to repair it, no matter how hard one tries.

I’m not saying it was anyone’s fault — after a while, I’ve come to realize we were two people at two different places going different directions.

When we did break up, my fear of losing her came true, but that fear ended up being completely unfounded.

In fact, I wasn’t as torn up as I thought I would’ve been. Sure, I was afraid of being alone, but I’ve come to embrace it over time.

It gave me time to pursue creative projects and create new relationships with people and strengthen friendships that I might not have been able to do otherwise.

And all of my friends have been supportive. No one has ridiculed me (yet).

Everything (at the time) seemed so bleak and despondent in my head, but when confronted with the reality of it, it wasn’t as bad.

I’ve adopted this mentality. It’s something like, “If you don’t do it, no one else will.” And that’s what’s been getting me to move. Face my fears. Conquer the unknown.

I started a creative collective with a group of my friends. I researched the business, wrote a proposal, and we’re looking to build it from the ground up. And we’re doing it.

I first feared competition and IP theft, and all of the likely (and unlikely) scenarios, but you don’t know until you actually do it. And we’re doing it.

We’re making some progress, but we’re all doing a thousand different things, so it’s tough to nail down a day to meet and brainstorm and write and film.

But we’re still doing it.

I don’t know anything about the fashion industry. And that’s scary, because it’s such a cutthroat business and saturated, too.

But I’m booking models with this entry-level camera with cheap lenses in hopes that I’ll build a portfolio. I’m afraid that someone will call me out for using my tiny camera. I’m afraid that my shots won’t come out professional. Before every shoot, I’m anxious.

But I’ve been building a reference library and saving them on my phone so I can look at them occasionally to develop a concept for future shoots.

There have been many times when I’ve asked myself, “Why the hell am I doing this?”

And moments later, I’ll think, “Wow, I’d love to recreate that shot.”

I also think about what people think about my photos. And they’re mostly negative.

But I keep going out to improve my technique and style.

Don’t give into negativity, especially from you. “You’re your own worst critic.”

Pursue your passions; forget the haters (even if it’s you).

I remember this Casey Neistat video about haters. People make fun of you at first while you’re starting out because it seems ridiculous (and you have no validation and supporters) but as you grow, they get scared that you are growing in reputation and in skill. Then when you succeed, those same people try to be friends with you. And that’s what drives Casey to do what he does.

Shia LaBeouf said it best:

“Just do it!”

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